The year is 1996. I was 22 years old. The setting is a beautiful beach in the hippy infested seaside fishing village of Arunbol, in northern Goa. It is a paradise, with bath temperature seas, golden sand, and lovely people and food. It was my second trip to India.
Why am I transporting us back here? To this time and place?
It is because that is where I was, when I saw for the first time who we humans really are. What we are made of.
And that, as we will see, is highly relevant to the work I have done over the last 28 years.
I took myself away from the beach shack where we had been eating. There were only shacks at that time. No hotels. I had managed to take one of the rooms in the school that was reserved for the occasional tourist or traveller. The school mistress rented out a couple of rooms at the back of the school. If you didn’t get one of these, you slept on the beach.
It was a warm evening, and I wanted some alone time. I found a place in the dark unlit beach about 200m away from the shack and the noise. It was quiet, warm, and comfortable.
I moved some sand, so I had a comfortable place to meditate, and I sat, facing the sea, in silence. After a few minutes, my attention went inwards, and rested into an aware blissful state. A dog barked in the distance.
I noticed my ear move. It was involuntary. I was quite amazed, as I knew animals’ ears moved when they heard sound, but I didn’t realise human’s ears did too. The movement pulled my awareness into my nervous system. I become aware of the autonomous decisions being made every second inside my body that I am not consciously making.
The rhythmic breathing. My breath doing what is does without me interfering. Only watching. Being breathed by my own body. The rhythm of the heart.
My heart energy cycling back on itself keeping my blood moving. My consciousness pulled into the blood system. Each breath pushing my blood around my veins.
Our consciousness is usually centred behind the eyes, or perhaps inside the head, with some people occasionally going into their heart or stomach. My consciousness was not centred there. I was inside my blood, whooshing through my body.
As my consciousness shifted once more, I became aware of my energy field. Emanating from inside, I became pure consciousness. What I found was love. Deep love for myself and everything else. And intense compassion. Compassion for me for when I am not in this state of bliss and awareness.
I knew I would not be in this state for long, and yet I was not separate than it. It was a conscious forgiveness of my default state. I forgave myself for the pain and suffering I endured, and I was so very sorry for my part in the illusion of my everyday consciousness. This is not a ‘sorry me’ awareness, but a compassion so strong it was bliss. Pure bliss of awareness of my illusion and compassion for my part in it.
The realisation that we are made of love, Pure Love, is incredible. However, it did not end there.
My realisation expanded to every living soul on the planet as I realised it wasn’t just me. Everyone is made of love. Everyone is pure love. My compassion for everyone filled the gap between the illusion of what everyone thinks is real; pain and suffering and striving, and what really is; pure love and bliss. I started to cry.
The tears of sorrow were for all of us. The power of humanity trapped in an illusion of suffering, and I was so so very sorry that we all lost our way. My compassion pulled through a force that was too big for my body and I cried and cried and cried. This lasted several minutes.
As the tears of joy and sorry started to flow from humanity through me, I had a flash of warning from the divine. I was reminded of the saying ‘cry your eyes out’. If I was not careful, I would cry humanity’s pain to such a degree I would literally cry my eyes out and become blind.
The shock that my body was not a suitable vehicle for the whole of humanity’s pain brought me back into my default consciousness and back into my usual state.
I sat meditating for quite some time afterwards.
I remained changed forever.
I have never looked at another human being the same since. We are all love, and we just forget it.
Mindset
When you look at the second mindset belief, The People Belief. And you read the words: Unconditional Positive Regard, hopefully this will have new meaning. You are in effect holding yourself in the regard you hold for others. And all of that is a reflection on how clearly or not, you see yourself. When you see love in others, you see it in yourself. You and the other are the same. Love.
In all my teachings and materials, I help to bring others to glimpse this rare gift from the great universal soul and touch a piece of bliss even for a short time. It is small steps; some equality here, some forgiveness there, and some hope sprinkled about.
The future
Soon, I head to India again. For my 50th Birthday. This time to travel to Delhi, Vrindavan, Mathura, Agra, and Varanasi, to visit the birthplace of my favourite Indian God Krishna and Radharani, and many other temples and holy places. What other insights and realisation will come from this journey?
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